Nostalgia

I was driving home today from visiting my daughter today and found in my car a CD of 70s tunes. I popped it in and was immediately transported back in time. Todd Rundgren's "Hello, It's Me." I was 20 years old, hanging out at Hot Dog Beach with my boyfriend, Andy. That song will always remind me of him. That whole summer revolved around him. Funny, I just remembered thinking, in my early 20s, that summer was for me a period of lots of experience impacted into a short time, so I thought I did most of my emotional growth during the summer. I don't know if that was true, but it's what it seemed like when I was much younger.

Simply Red's "Holding Back the Years" is another song that brings me back to another boyfriend, one who relentlessly persued me until I broke down and fell for him, and then cruelly broke my heart. I still feel a wave of melancholly when I hear those two songs. It's not that I wish I could go back in time or even that I wish I could be with either of them...it's just that I associate those songs with times of bliss, then ultimately heartache. It's a strange power that music has. And the music that we like becomes the soundtrack to our memories.

The only thing that can bring me back in time like that is scent. Sandalwood and patchouli, pine trees, certain perfumes (or men's colognes)...they all have that power to send me back in time. It's like scratch'n'sniff memories! Who says time-travel is impossible?!

The song that brings me back to my wedding day is Van Morrison's "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" Not Rod Stewart's boiled down bland version of Van the Man's composition. Van had strings and brass and such full and beautiful orchestration.

What about you? What songs serve as your own personal time machine?

A New World

I am not, by a long shot, considered a youth anymore...just stillbarely middle-aged. So it's probably not a suprise that I've only just discovered youtube.com. It is the world of videos...video blogs, video parodies, video everything, and mostly inhabited, it seems, by teens and 20-somethings. So, it was also not a surprise that I have just discovered lonelygirl15, a video blogger on youtube. Her earliest blog was this past June. An adorably cute young girl who goes by the name of Bree and is 16, homeschooled, and "very religious." I couldn't get enough of this kid's videos. Even as I was watching them, I wondered, "Is this all for real? Is this some kind of hoax?" She talked about how she was selected for this secretive religious ceremony, a huge honor and so exclusive that her parents wouldn't even be there. She talked about sneaking out of the house to go to a party ("my first!"). She shared the drama of her first boyfriend, who seemed like a creep, but who seemed to be trying to get her away from what sounded more and more like a cult-ish religion.

Well, it was NOT real. Two guys (funny, it never occurred to me that SHE might have invented lonelygirl15) held auditions that they posted on craigslist, hired her, and began this series of video blogs. As a matter of fact, my suspicions were confirmed online, when an interview with her on the Jay Leno show was posted, along with another interviews of her and one of the creators of the "show." He said that the plotline was developed based on the input from viewers who got caught up in the angst of this young character. All I can say is GENIUS! It's unfortunate that they came clean, because the whole mystery of is she or is she not for real added to the enjoyment of the blogs, but I'll still tune in to see what happens. It's a new art-form, beyond reality shows...audience interactive drama."

I also like youtube because it's so interesting to see what people will share about themselves on video to the world, and for the hilarious videos...go there and search "cats" and be prepared to laugh hard and long.

Paying it Forward - as I see it

A post at LunaChick's blog inspired the following.

"Letting go" of things over which we have no control is a very common problem. It's certainly a lesson I've been working on for a long time. Hard thing for a control freak. The easy way is to have low expectations of others and to succumb to road rage, or any other kind of rage. No one ever said the road to enlightenment is easy.

Kindness is not to be given for what you will get in return. It is given because that's what is right. Karma doesn't work immediately, nor does it necessarily happen in this lifetime (yep, I believe in reincarnation). But from my experience, yes, it does come back to you. It adds up. Sure, people are going to be a-holes. For many of them, it's their nature and they just can't help it. But being kind and thoughtful and gentle and giving people the benefit of the doubt...it adds up and does eventually come back to you, sometimes when you least expect it. And not always from the people you were kind to. Really. I believe that the universe does take care of any karma - good or bad. It's not our place to mete out justice. Revenge does not release anger. The only way you can release anger is by trusting there is a reason for everything and letting go of that anger. If you don't, the anger will own you.

I believe that if we are ever to live in a world without war, a world of true peace, we ALL have to let go of our needfulness to control, punish, or hurt others (or ourselves), for whatever reason. I think that this is much more do-able for humans than to try to "love" everyone. "Let it Be" as a theme song for the world? I can't think of a better one.

But that's just me.

Beginnings

Nancy (Back at the Ranch) wrote a sweet goodbye to summer on her blog, but I am happily looking forward to Fall. I love wearing sweaters and cuddling in the evening without sweating...excuse me, make that "glistening." I think the sunlight in autumn is the prettiest, along with the icy-silver winter light. We may lose the vibrant greens of summer, but we gain all the reds and golds of leaves falling from trees that are preparing for their annual winter-long nap. Fall and spring have always been my favorite seasons...maybe because I can't tolerate extreme temps easily. But I associate Fall with new: clothes, beginnings, friends, opportunities. The laziness of summer gives way to the hustle of getting things done after all the procrastination. Same thing with Spring...I sort of wake up out of my own kind of psycholological and physical hibernation. I enjoy walking in the Fall...just being outdoors. I just can't stand getting physical in the humid summer heat. But a brisk walk in the brisk cool air just can't be beat. Now maybe I can get my butt up and out of the house to walk the poor dog! :)

I'm hoping I can walk through the "door" that is Fall and begin the ending of this year with a positive change in my life. Exactly what that is? Maybe it will come to me on one of those walks!

Blog to Blog - What About Women?

This is something I just don't get - women being women's worst enemy. My mom raised me with a sense of sistserhood. I found out the hard way that not all women shared my sense of sisterhood - a friend aggressively pursued my ex-husband, which ultimately ended out marriage. Of course, in the long run, she did me a huge favor. But I find that if you are sincere and open and treat other women the way you expect to be treated, for the most part, they treat you in kind. Are there women out there who are competetive and mean to other women? Of course. But I think most reasonably intelligent women can spot that kind - just avoid them if you can. If not, then kill 'em with kindness. I think my method is very successful. I am blessed with many good female friends. My best friends from grade school and high school are still dear friends. Of course, I have had experience with women being evil woman-haters, but I believe that if that's what you expect from women, then that's what you will find.

I was 16 when "women's lib" hit the headlines. But as soon as I started hearing about it, I knew that it was a great thing. I was a kid who wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up (that, and a writer, actress, and horse trainer). I was 16 in a very un-feminist (or people-ist) world. I remember. It most certainly was NOT better than this. It seems that the word feminist has gotten a lot of bad press, but to me, all it means is equality. Men and women are different (vive la difference!), but EQUAL - in value, in potential, in what they can contribute to the world and their families. Neither men nor women should have to be denied an opportunity because of their gender. It has nothing to do with behaving like a man or dressing like one or toning down our femininity to achieve those opportunities. Yeah, that's what it meant to some women during the "revolution," but not the majority, I think. It meant freedom to be who they were and that was especially good if they were not women who enjoyed being a subservient, passive, susy homemaker who had to dumb down for a man. AND freedom to enjoy SEX! I always like to say that I was a young woman in the golden age of sex - after the pill and before AIDS.

Man-hating lesbians? Oh, yeah, they are out there. Even man-hating heteros. And woman-hating heteros and woman-hating gays. There are a lot of people-hating people; we see it every day. I don't think this has anything to do with feminism. It's just insecurity and downright mean-ness, among a probable plethora of psychological crap.

I'm sad if visions of man-hating lesbians enter people's heads when they think of feminists, but I imagine these people are not very enlightened. Another blogger, Lunachick, posed a very interesting question about how helpful it was to encourage women to have careers, becasue today they still are the ones doing the majority of housework and child-raising while working outside the home. But I think it was necessary. No revolution (and believe me, it was just as much a revolution as other civil rights activism) can be won without mistakes. The hope, at least mine, is that someday, men and women can live and work together using each of their own individual attributes to their best in a balanced way. Not all women want to stay home with the kids and not all men want to be the breadwinners. [Not all women WANT kids, and don't even get me started on that one. I know some really fine women who have to take crap from this society on a fairly regular basis for not wanting children. What, better to have unwanted kids just to meet some societal norm? Right.] I hope those people find each other. I don't think there needs to be a "traditional" format of a family - the Father Knows Best kind - but as long as family members have defined roles and everyone is happy with those roles, I think then you have a formula for a successful family and world.

I think there are several reasons women are still holding most of the bag all these years after being "liberated." Mainly, the media (yeah, the usual whipping post), AND I think it's our own fault for buying into it. Very few women can "have it all," and if they do, they have the support of a very understanding, giving and enlightened partner. J9, who posted on Lundachick's blog, quoted her friend, "We as women can have it all..just not at the same time." This is the truth. And maybe from now on, I'll consider myself as a people-ist with a side of feminism.
Great topin, Lunachick! I'd love to hear from more people on this.