Saturday, September 23, 2006

Paying it Forward - as I see it

A post at LunaChick's blog inspired the following.

"Letting go" of things over which we have no control is a very common problem. It's certainly a lesson I've been working on for a long time. Hard thing for a control freak. The easy way is to have low expectations of others and to succumb to road rage, or any other kind of rage. No one ever said the road to enlightenment is easy.

Kindness is not to be given for what you will get in return. It is given because that's what is right. Karma doesn't work immediately, nor does it necessarily happen in this lifetime (yep, I believe in reincarnation). But from my experience, yes, it does come back to you. It adds up. Sure, people are going to be a-holes. For many of them, it's their nature and they just can't help it. But being kind and thoughtful and gentle and giving people the benefit of the doubt...it adds up and does eventually come back to you, sometimes when you least expect it. And not always from the people you were kind to. Really. I believe that the universe does take care of any karma - good or bad. It's not our place to mete out justice. Revenge does not release anger. The only way you can release anger is by trusting there is a reason for everything and letting go of that anger. If you don't, the anger will own you.

I believe that if we are ever to live in a world without war, a world of true peace, we ALL have to let go of our needfulness to control, punish, or hurt others (or ourselves), for whatever reason. I think that this is much more do-able for humans than to try to "love" everyone. "Let it Be" as a theme song for the world? I can't think of a better one.

But that's just me.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Beginnings

Nancy (Back at the Ranch) wrote a sweet goodbye to summer on her blog, but I am happily looking forward to Fall. I love wearing sweaters and cuddling in the evening without sweating...excuse me, make that "glistening." I think the sunlight in autumn is the prettiest, along with the icy-silver winter light. We may lose the vibrant greens of summer, but we gain all the reds and golds of leaves falling from trees that are preparing for their annual winter-long nap. Fall and spring have always been my favorite seasons...maybe because I can't tolerate extreme temps easily. But I associate Fall with new: clothes, beginnings, friends, opportunities. The laziness of summer gives way to the hustle of getting things done after all the procrastination. Same thing with Spring...I sort of wake up out of my own kind of psycholological and physical hibernation. I enjoy walking in the Fall...just being outdoors. I just can't stand getting physical in the humid summer heat. But a brisk walk in the brisk cool air just can't be beat. Now maybe I can get my butt up and out of the house to walk the poor dog! :)

I'm hoping I can walk through the "door" that is Fall and begin the ending of this year with a positive change in my life. Exactly what that is? Maybe it will come to me on one of those walks!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Blog to Blog - What About Women?

This is something I just don't get - women being women's worst enemy. My mom raised me with a sense of sistserhood. I found out the hard way that not all women shared my sense of sisterhood - a friend aggressively pursued my ex-husband, which ultimately ended out marriage. Of course, in the long run, she did me a huge favor. But I find that if you are sincere and open and treat other women the way you expect to be treated, for the most part, they treat you in kind. Are there women out there who are competetive and mean to other women? Of course. But I think most reasonably intelligent women can spot that kind - just avoid them if you can. If not, then kill 'em with kindness. I think my method is very successful. I am blessed with many good female friends. My best friends from grade school and high school are still dear friends. Of course, I have had experience with women being evil woman-haters, but I believe that if that's what you expect from women, then that's what you will find.

I was 16 when "women's lib" hit the headlines. But as soon as I started hearing about it, I knew that it was a great thing. I was a kid who wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up (that, and a writer, actress, and horse trainer). I was 16 in a very un-feminist (or people-ist) world. I remember. It most certainly was NOT better than this. It seems that the word feminist has gotten a lot of bad press, but to me, all it means is equality. Men and women are different (vive la difference!), but EQUAL - in value, in potential, in what they can contribute to the world and their families. Neither men nor women should have to be denied an opportunity because of their gender. It has nothing to do with behaving like a man or dressing like one or toning down our femininity to achieve those opportunities. Yeah, that's what it meant to some women during the "revolution," but not the majority, I think. It meant freedom to be who they were and that was especially good if they were not women who enjoyed being a subservient, passive, susy homemaker who had to dumb down for a man. AND freedom to enjoy SEX! I always like to say that I was a young woman in the golden age of sex - after the pill and before AIDS.

Man-hating lesbians? Oh, yeah, they are out there. Even man-hating heteros. And woman-hating heteros and woman-hating gays. There are a lot of people-hating people; we see it every day. I don't think this has anything to do with feminism. It's just insecurity and downright mean-ness, among a probable plethora of psychological crap.

I'm sad if visions of man-hating lesbians enter people's heads when they think of feminists, but I imagine these people are not very enlightened. Another blogger, Lunachick, posed a very interesting question about how helpful it was to encourage women to have careers, becasue today they still are the ones doing the majority of housework and child-raising while working outside the home. But I think it was necessary. No revolution (and believe me, it was just as much a revolution as other civil rights activism) can be won without mistakes. The hope, at least mine, is that someday, men and women can live and work together using each of their own individual attributes to their best in a balanced way. Not all women want to stay home with the kids and not all men want to be the breadwinners. [Not all women WANT kids, and don't even get me started on that one. I know some really fine women who have to take crap from this society on a fairly regular basis for not wanting children. What, better to have unwanted kids just to meet some societal norm? Right.] I hope those people find each other. I don't think there needs to be a "traditional" format of a family - the Father Knows Best kind - but as long as family members have defined roles and everyone is happy with those roles, I think then you have a formula for a successful family and world.

I think there are several reasons women are still holding most of the bag all these years after being "liberated." Mainly, the media (yeah, the usual whipping post), AND I think it's our own fault for buying into it. Very few women can "have it all," and if they do, they have the support of a very understanding, giving and enlightened partner. J9, who posted on Lundachick's blog, quoted her friend, "We as women can have it all..just not at the same time." This is the truth. And maybe from now on, I'll consider myself as a people-ist with a side of feminism.
Great topin, Lunachick! I'd love to hear from more people on this.